Londoners in the Covent Garden area are warned that they can expect to hear disturbingly high levels of corporate-sponsored whooping, over-excited palm-slapping and team co-ordinated celebratory street laps as the ghastly phenomenon that is an Apple Store launch rolls into town.
True love
The store may not even be open yet, but that hasn’t stopped one tech writer trowelling on the love, fawningly declaring the exterior of the shop to be a, “a masterful blend of old and new”, which apparently, “suits the environs of Covent Garden perfectly” making it a “gorgeous new iEmporium.”
We don’t recall James Holland of Electric Pig penning many opinions about the architectural merits of other stores, but when it comes to an Apple retail outlet, it seems he simply can’t stop himself gushing about the “beautifully restored masonry,” and the “tasteful cut-out Apple logos above the door.” And who couldn’t resist a tasteful cut-out logo?
Pre-hugs
Like a Victorian child drooling at the window of a sweet shop, Holland’s heart must have been full of hope and desire yesterday as he peered through the windows to be rewarded with the awe-inspiring vision of Apple’s retail team, “receiving a welcome talk complete with whooping and hugging all round.”
Live, pre-opening Tweeting NOW!
Things got even more exciting for Mr Holland this morning, as he was honoured with a special pre-opening tour of the shop, and has been Tweeting frantically from his iPhone ever since.
Here’s a couple of his latest missives:
There are “traffic counters” above the doors that count how many people come through the doors every 15 minutes, so apple can provide the right staffing levels
There’ll be free t-shirts for the first 4,000 customers
The iPad is under natural light, from that skylight
The Apple store Covent Garden will be the best store yet
Waiting for the queue
For those unlucky enough not to be on today’s guest list, they can always get a frisson of the excitement by joining the sad queues that assemble outside new Apple stores well in advance of the opening.
For those willing to dedicate long, long hours in the cold, there’s always the tempting prospect of a free “collectable” t-shirt or something equally nondescript as a reward.
Still, they’ll get to enjoy their 3 nano-seconds of fame from the assembled media, and what honour could be higher than being the first to be high-fived through the portals of a new Apple store and being wildly applauded by the hordes of brand-frenzied, blue-shirted staff?
God Save the iPad
The new Covent Garden store – which will be Apple’s largest UK store – engulfs the former home of the Rock Garden music venue, a delightful little venue that had played host to the likes of the Sex Pistols, U2 and the Police over the years.
The new Covent Garden Apple store opens at 10am on Saturday 7th August.
Sorry to say, we won’t be there to report on the opening of the new store, or to record the over-excited squeals emanating from one of the crassest celebrations of consumerism to be found in London – but you can rest assured that there’ll be loads of sites and blogs eagerly bringing you minute-by-minute coverage of this ‘event.’
Update store opening footage on YouTube!
A feast of corporate-sponsored self-clapping, high fiving, whopping and Mexican-waving by Apple employees awaits!
(Photos: Phil o’Kane/Timothy A Clary)
LOL. You really don’t like Apple, do you?
Actually, I love Apple products but hate all this manipulated ‘event’ making nonsense.
When I buy an expensive consumer item I don’t want some company-cajoled Charlie applauding and whooping my purchase, and I’d rather punch someone in the face than high five them like some doofus from a US teen TV show.
*applauds
I hate all this crap too. Why would anyone queue up just to get a crappy t-shirt?
And WTF are they doing clapping people. What for? What have they done?
It’s all awful US style consumerist crap.
“I hate all this crap too.”
I do as well. It was just the strength of Mike’s bile that amused me.
Seems fitting that most of the products sold in the nearby stores are overpriced, slightly upmarket tat.
I went to the opening yesterday and I loved that everyone was clapping and cheering, it was very personal and sticks in my memory. I was so hyped up at the opening, and the store truly is a work of art.
The iPad is under natural light, from that skylight – wow like a beam of light from GOD himself.
why there no clapping at lidl. Clap me you f#ckers