There’s no shortage of bloggers and tech websites knocking out endless news reports claiming to know something about what the next gen Apple iPhone is going to look like.
There’s been rumours, claimed leaks, shady insider statements and fuzzy photos supposedly snapped at a top secret factory somewhere or another. But we know the inside story…
Sadly, we haven’t got any pixelated pictures of blurry bits of metal claiming to be the new iPhone yet, so we’re a bit short in the photographic department, but we had a go at making one up anyway, just to catch your eye (not that we’re suggesting other sites would do such a thing).
We haven’t pulled apart an iPhone to find a ‘suspicious’ looking void that could be used to fit a radar detector or laser beam either, and when it comes to rumours circulated by the brother of the security guard who knows a friend of Steve Jobs’ cleaner, we’re clean out of luck too.
In fact, we’ll come right out and admit it: we haven’t a clue what the next iPhone is going to look like -we don’t even know what it’s going to be called – and neither has any other site churning out traffic-boosting “inside” rumours on a near daily basis.
We know nothing. Nada. Zip. Not a sausage. And neither they do they.
Some idle speculation
However, seeing as we’ve started, we’re game to throw around a few ideas and suggest possible new features for fun – and if by some jammy fluke we manage to get some right, then – hey! – we’ll be the first to claim secret insider knowledge.
Our predictions:
In a nutshell: we reckon the 4G will have a LED flash, a slightly better camera (not much of an achievement considering the current one is so poor) and maybe a pointless front facing camera for those video calls that you’re never going to make.
Hello OLED?
The iPhone 4G may be offered with an OLED screen option to help fix the dreadful battery life, but it’ll be set at the same resolution as the current handset, as we can’t imagine Apple are going to risk upsetting their zillions of developers by suddenly making them have to support three screen sizes (with the iPad).
Actually, maybe we should think that last bit over again seeing as Apple seem to have no qualms about pissing off their developers when it suits their own business interests.
The bottom line is that we can’t see them wanting to dilute the impact of the iPad with a bigger-screened iPhone, so we’d wager as much as £2.50 on the iPhone screen resolution staying the same. That’s how confident we are.
Multi-tasking is on the way
We reckon this could well be a goer. The iPad will be a truly wretched device to use without multi-tasking, so we expect to see this introduced in the next iPhone OS update, accompanied by much-needed improved battery life.
Least we hope it is: anyone who’s used a Palm Pre soon realises that the iPhone’s ‘open app-close app-open app-close app’ way of doing things borders on near-neolithic in comparison.
Talking of batteries, anyone fostering hopes that handy, user-removable batteries are finally going to be introduced can go whistle. Being an iPhone user means that the option of lobbing a couple of cheap back-up batteries in your bag for a trip will remain a distant dream. Doh!
No QWERTY, No Cry
Much as we’d love to see it, we predict that there’s never going to be an iPhone with a hardware keyboard.
Oberführer Jobs has dictated that virtual screens are the way forward and we can’t see him reversing that decision any time soon.
That’s good news for Blackberry who know how users value a well laid out touchy-feely keyboard (we’ll forget about the Storm disaster), but the future for iPhoners is tapping on cold, unforgiving glass forever.
Flash support
There’s about as much chance of Flash appearing on the iPhone as there is of Freddie Mercury rising from the dead to sing a cover of Paper Lace’s, “Billy, Don’t Be A Hero” in the Dog & Duck, Peckham.
Apple and Adobe have spent the last few months hissing at each other, and Steve Jobs insists that HTML5 is the future of everything, even if we’ll probably have to wait five years before that actually happens.
Sod the SD card
Not a chance. Apple relies on incremental memory upgrades to send their fanboys into apoplectic upgrading fits, so bolting on something as genuinely useful as a memory slot is never going to happen.
To misquote Transvision Vamp, Apple don’t want your love, they want your money, honey.
You can forget about an FM radio too. And DVB Mobile TV and anything else that puts free content on your iPhone that Apple can’t control and make money out of.
App happy
The iPhone is really all about the apps these days. There’s loads of better spec’d phones out there, but the iPhone’s eco-system can’t be beat and that’s what will always give it the edge over rivals – even if the phone’s hardware falls short of its rivals.
For that reason we’ll rule out any big changes that lock out older iPhone owners because that won’t be in Apple’s interests – push them too far out and they’ll soon be eyeing fresher, cheaper alternatives from the likes of Android and Palm.
The iCrunch
Oh, and as for the “real inside story,” that’s simply the fact that there is no inside story.
We’ve learnt that shunting out unverified, unsourced, half arsed rumours about Apple’s new products isn’t ‘alf good for a website’s traffic – and it pushes up their advertising revenues rather nicely too.
That’s why you’ll find no shortage of fresh iPhone rumours and dubious Apple ‘exclusives’ being generated all over the web, with their contents quietly forgotten when the revelations turn out to be another load of old cods-wallop.
Rather like this article. Thanks for reading!
Next week: Exclusive! Alfie, the bloke who works at the chippy in Pontypridd who says he served Steve Jobs a bag of King Edward’s finest two years ago shares a few of his thoughts about the iPad.
Got an opinion? Hit the comment box below and let us hear you.
Great article – and hit the target too. I’m fed up with the same sites posting up hopelessly wild speculation as ‘news.’
Yeah, good stuff. And as the iPad shows often the speculation is much better than the finished disappointing product.
Great article. All the bullshits that came on the web claiming the news came from reliable sources should have made readers clear that nobody knows anything about apple products before it finally comes out. I think, the next gen iphone won’t have anything wow..as millions of websites are speculating….maybe a better camera…and stuffs like that….
I agreed, it is nice and refreshing to see this sort of article. A “No BS” approach but informative about what we should accept, and truthful about what we should not expect.
I feel used…
I don’t think increasing the next iPhone’s resolution will be a problem for developers since the OS could easily scale apps designed for the 480-by-320-pixel screen as was demonstrated for the iPad.
As for multi-tasking, I see it of limited value in iPhone’s single window environment.
Sameer,
spotify, navigation, skype all really require multitasking.
Spotify is all but useless on an iPhone because of the lack of multi tasking, and loads of apps suffer from having to be completely closed down when you want to do something else.
With the Palm Pre you can enjoy streamed web radio as you work on other apps, have several emails and websites open simultaneously, plus Twitter and IM and maps and pause games mid-way through and go straight back where you left off.
I’m fed up having to see the same loading splash screens on the iPhone each time I swap task, and the notification system is awful too.
The iPhone really needs multi-tasking but whether it’ll be allowed to happen or not is another matter. It’ll certainly put me off buying an iPad.
The loading is virtually nothing unless you’re playing a game I’ve found so it doesn’t bother me. I don’t use spotify because it doesn’t have enough of the music I want to pay the monthly so that’s no problem. I can listen to music and check my email, surf and read news via news apps at the same time so multitasking not being there really doesn’t bother for the most part.
I do however really miss Agendus Pro on the Palm Centro I used to have, the integrated (and far superior) calendar, note taking and task listing was superb. Having to swap apps for all that is a little irritating at times but still nowhere near a bother as the crap battery life.
If they updated the battery (say 40% better at minimum) I’d be happier…!
Battery, keyboard, bluetooth suck. If it’s all about the apps then the iPhone wins. If it’s about regular usage without spending most of my time back-spacing then I’ll get any old nokia or the treo (sighs).
It’s hard to believe the iPhone can get any better than it already is. I would like to see a micro SD slot on the iPhone 4.0 though.
Steve Jobs missed the mark on the i-pad. He should have included phone capability on it. I would buy one if it had phone capability. Without that it seems woefully short. A simple blue tooth device for your ear since obviously you wouldn’t hold it up to your ear and/or speaker phone capability.
This type of thing was already done at Good F*cking Joke…
@TheDigitalMan
im tired of paying high pricing for a half a$$ phone other phone have beedoing for years what apple finally brings out three years for video no flash no multitasking how can we consider it the best phone when its not i have had mine for a whole year and in that span a whole bunch of phone have come out lookin better the appstore is what keeps apple above the rest nothing else im tired of being under STEVE control if this ipgone is not what we WANT not what STEVE want us to have im gone
Another piece of snarky showmanship trying to pass for journalism. Honest to God, Apple could get you every single frickin’ thing you wanted in an iPhone — every one. And a month later you’d be bitchin’ about 50 new features you want. “Make it thinner, faster, more battery life, video chat…”
Jesus, you’re holding the whole f**king Internet in your hand – not to mention a phone, an iPod, and a hundred apps. Be amazed! Or better yet, get a Droid to go with your Zune and shut up.
Great Article..
Totally agree, expect nothing sensational from apple. They don’t do that sort of thing merely adapt existing tried & tested tec and make it look fashionable.
OLED I think may also be a bit far fetched for apple for now. (thats a bit like expecting them to have put Blueray players in their last update of the iMac)
And before mac lovers start geting upset with me I am a Mac user and have been for the last 10 years.
I cant believe iphone haters still dont get it…the iphone is doing so well because of its human interaction design.
Thats it.
It feels so god damn beautiful to operate the device that nothing else compares… all this talk about lower spec and absent SD card – who actually gives a flying f-u-c-k???
The device is the device of the decade, sales prove it, people prove it…I don’t know anyone that gives up their Iphone for a different device…
Every week a new ‘iphone killer’ comes out but every week i’m still waiting…
This is my first apple purchase…i havent really bothered about laptops or desktops or even ipods.
Many years ago i realised i just wanted 1 device for everything and the iphone is that device. What makes me chuckle is that it took apple to change the game…
Nokia, Motorola etc were all churning out shit. I’m waiting for an android device that compares but i’m still waiting…waiting….waiting…
Wow there’s some serious sense of humour fails above! Try taking your head out of your ass people and seeing the joke that’s clearly behind this! 😀
I for one, do never actually want to see a physical keyboard on the iPhone, so hopefully good on them for never doing that. There is no need for one, all the phones with physical keyboards I have ever used, or have ever known people to use, have had their problems i.e. nothing physical – nothing to break. Plus there is no accidentally not applying enough pressure to the tiny keys and ending up writing jargon. Once used to the virtual keyborad it is much faster and much easier for the software to predict what you are trying to type if you do end up hitting it in slightly the wrong place.
Gizmodo is claiming to have got its paws on a iPhone 4g “left in a bar”.
It certainly looks convincing enough, but would Apple really let loose its boozing engineers into bars with such precious cargo?
http://gizmodo.com/5520164/this-is-apples-next-iphone